Back in early February, Drew was headed out of town for 5 days. My mom was here to help with kids. I was "watching" Stella's friend, Micah. Drew went upstairs to tell Stella goodbye. Both girls were playing happily in Stella's room. Drew came downstairs to snuggle the rest of the kids before he headed out. There was a knock on the door. Micah's dad had come to pick her up. Drew went to the stairs and yelled for Micah. She ran down the stairs, past Drew at the bottom, past me in the kitchen, and headed to the front door. Hysterical laughter came out of her dad's mouth. Bewildered, Drew and I peeked into the front hallway to see what he was laughing at. Micah's beautiful brown curls were chopped off. Chopped. I sprinted upstairs totally assuming my daughter had done this deed. She has gotten in big trouble with scissors before. She was not in her room. She was not in the boys' room. I ran back to her room and flung open the closet curtains. And there she stood. A little dark(er)-haired girl with guilty, gorgeous eyes wide open. Curls chopped off. Blonde on the floor.
They had gathered all the hair and "hid" it in the corner of her closet under a little table. As if we wouldn't notice that their hair was chopped off. Micah and Stella both had a long curly rat tail remaining. I was speachless. I mean I did not say a single word while cleaning up the mess of hair. My silence unnerved Stella. We have had the talk about scissors and what is okay to cut so many times. Too many times. But clearly not enough times. I wanted to beat my head against the wall. It wasn't until I called Micah's mom and apologized that this happened on my watch that I thought to ask Stella how or why this happened. Micah's story was that Stella held her down and cut her hair. I knew that wasn't what happened so I asked Stella to tell me the story.
With lots of exaggerated hand motions, she explained, "Well, Micah said she really wants short hair but her mom won't cut it. I said, 'Why don't you just cut it?' So I went and got her scissors and she cut her hair. Then she asked me if I wanted a hair cut too and she cut my hair." It was a tiny bit comforting that although it was Stella's bad idea, Micah was the one that executed. Maybe all of our talks about scissors have made a little bit of an impression on her? Or maybe not but I'm going to allow myself to believe so.
I explained to Stella that people go to school to learn how to cut hair and that if she wanted short hair, I would have taken her to someone that knows how to cut it well. I took a picture of the back of her hair and said, "See how silly and chopped it looks?" She very matter of factly said, "I like it. I look like Rapunzel." Sheesh. I couldn't argue with that. Thanks, Disney.
She still has yet to regret chopping off her long hair and everyone tells her how much they like it. I always say, "Yes it does look so cute now that Miss Kara fixed it, right?"
Lord, help me with this strong willed, confident, wonderful girl. She did not inherit one bit of my people-pleasing tendencies. I am so grateful for that, but I am also at a loss as to how to discipline a child that doesn't care when she has disappointed or grieved me. I do pray that she would be tender to the Holy Spirit and learn to be sad when she has hurt others or is disobeying us. I know her confidence will be used for beautiful things as she grows and learns. Just please God, help us in the meantime.
Stella and Micah.
When Stella got back from her official haircut, she said, "Grandma Pam, we have the same hair."
