Happy Birthday Drew

Happy Birthday to our favorite dad and husband! :)

(Drew scored $3 Cubs hats for the the older three kids at Target on Saturday. They are super excited.)

Little Friend

Stella's little friend, Theodore, came to visit yesterday and they had lots of fun playing.

Vague

The endocrinologist's nurse called me and said that the scan showed a lot of 'uptake' of the radioactive iodine in my neck which was to be expected and one spot of uptake in my chest that they will monitor. I asked her if that meant lung, breast tissue, etc. and she said that the report just says "chest". I asked specifically about the left side of my neck where the lump is located. She said it showed the area took up the radioactive iodine which is what they wanted it to do. I will have a follow up appointment with the endocrinologist in a month to have blood work done. They will monitor me with blood work every 6 months I think and she mentioned another scan a year from now. The results were much more vague than I would have liked. I will look forward to seeing the doctor in a month and in the mean time am trying to figure out the right questions to ask him at that appointment that will bring more clarity to all of this. Thanks for your prayers.

Celebrating Stella

We had a birthday party for Stella today. She was charming and enjoyed her little self.

A friend here was sweet enough to make these adorable pinwheels for decoration.
The bees loved the cupcakes. We had one poor friend get stung trying to shoe them away.

This is Stella's one sweet, little friend here in town that is her age. Stella and Audrey were born the year before the Upland Baby Boom of 2011.

Stella did not know what to think of the Happy Birthday song. It was a little overwhelming.
After quickly snatching the strawberry off of the top, she tried her first bite of cupcake.



She ate a couple of bites and enjoyed them but then it started crumbling and she had more fun just smashing it all over her tray.
Papa, Nana, Grandma Pam and us went in together to purchase Stella a little kitchen. She thinks it's wonderful.
Thanks to Grandma Pam and Nana for all of their help with food and bee patrol.

Stella was exhausted. I laid her down in her crib. Drew went in 2 minutes later to tuck Isa in and she was already fast asleep. Partied out. Baby girl is 1. Can't quite believe it.

Bike-a-thon

Isa participated in her second bike-a-thon on Thursday at preschool. I feel bad we haven't worked with her at all on how to pedal or ride a bike. Ah well, she didn't care and had fun.

ONE

Can't even believe it has already been a year since this beautiful girl entered the world. We had cinnamon rolls for breakfast. Stella liked picking at the frosting.

At lunch, Stella grabbed a sandwich that Drew had been tearing up for her. She was so proud of herself. It was hilarious. She kept showing it to me.

Look at that look. Hahaha. She knows Drew is about to take it away.

Happy Birthday, Stella Claire!

A boy's dream come true. . .

On the last night of our (eternal, never-ending, when-will-Mommy-come-home) week long absence from Bekah, I found Cubs-Reds tickets in Cincinnati dirt cheap. The low price, I'm sure, has nothing to do with the fact that both teams are abysmal this year. Alas, we scored great seats in left field on a beautiful September evening. The kids were more excited about the cotton candy than the action on the field at times, but can you blame them?

Ben brought his glove, in hopes of snagging a home run. I warned him that I am nearly 32 years old, and have attended countless Major League Baseball games, and have never came away with a ball. (Although it's been a lifelong goal of mine.) Ben is a kid with soaring expectations, which can lead to some serious disappointment. The scoring was in our favor, as both teams had, well, less than their best on the pitching mound. Nearly every inning (it seemed) had a home run. We had a few that came close to us, but nothing near enough to catch. Ben was getting discouraged. Then he noticed another possibility: The outfielders play catch in-between innings to warm up. Our seats were incredibly close to Chicago's left fielder, Alfonso Soriano. After one inning, Soriano tossed the ball to a kid sitting in the left field foul territory. He looked at me and asked, "Why doesn't he throw it here?" I told him that next inning he should yell out Soriano's name and jump up and down to get his attention (but reminded him that he probably wouldn't get a ball). He tried this for a few innings, to no avail. But finally, in the eighth inning, his persistence paid off. . .
Soriano tossed him a baseball!!!!! A few adults in the front row were inspired by Ben's perseverance and were yelling at Soriano and pointing to Ben. He tossed the ball to a guy in the front row and pointed right at Ben. The guy turned and handed a baseball . . . check that. . . an authentic, genuine, touched by major leaguers, rubbed in special mud by umpires, grass-stained, perfect, leather bound, red stitched, what every boy who loves baseball dreams of . . . a Major League Baseball.
You see that? That's a glimpse of God's Kingdom come right there. Pure, unadulterated joy. Ben looked at the thing for a full minute, mouth agape, in utter shock. After reality set in, he was on cloud nine. Sam was so excited for him: "Ben, you got a baseball!" Ben clutched that thing proudly. Nothing could've pried that thing from his hand. On the way home, I saw him smelling the ball. That, my friends, is a sign of a pure baseball fan. What a great night. A great ending to a very long week.

We heart TU Volleyball!

Last week, during Bekah's isolation, the Head Coach of Taylor's (perennial national powerhouse) Volleyball team invited our kids to join them at practice. It was truly incredible. We walked in the gym to this banner.

Each kid had a personalized sign.



The kids' favorite part of the practice was chasing the balls all over the gym. Isa was in absolute heaven. She now wants to be a volleyball player when she grows up. Given her genetic makeup, probably a setter. :)
The boys were pretty shy and timid at first. When I thought about it, I can't blame them. They walked into a gym full of tall, athletic women all dressed in uniforms smashing volleyballs into the ground, screaming and yelling. Pretty intimidating to a 6 and 3 year old boy.


After the practice, we had dinner with the team at the dining commons. It was such a blessing. The kids were having a rough day missing their mom and, to boot, it was pouring rain all day. This was a great distraction, and they wore themselves out running all over the gym. A lot of press is devoted to how greedy and corrupt college sports has become. It's refreshing to be affiliated with a program that not only wins, but has a heart and soul. Trojan Volleyball: thanks so much for blessing our family. GO TUVB!

Scan Tomorrow and Journal

This time tomorrow I will have my full body scan done. I doubt I will know anything tomorrow but hopefully on Wednesday they will let me know what the scan showed. I have been a little concerned about the left side of my neck because it continues to be tender and there is one lump in particular that is always tender. Some days more. Some days less. Some days it feels swollen. Other days it does not. I am hoping and praying for a clean scan and for a specific answer to what that lump is. This thyroid cancer journey has been more of a spiritual and mental battle than a physical one.

(Stop here if you just wanted to know what to pray for in the coming days. The rest is more just for me to remember as I spill out random thoughts.)

Back in April when I was first diagnosed with Lynch Syndrome and thyroid cancer, my mind was all over the place. I was automatically assuming the worst even though the doctors were very positive. I would think that I was in such a good place of trusting and as long as I had praise music playing, I wasn't thinking anxious thoughts. But I would still wake up "feeling anxious" (gnawing in my stomach, pressure in my chest, etc.) even before an anxious thought had entered my mind. So then I would be anxious about feeling anxious. I wasn't even thinking anything so why am I feeling anxious!? I was so frustrated by the lack of peace. It wasn't until I started to "take every anxious thought captive" did I experience any deep and lasting peace throughout the day and in the silence of the night and morning. I realized that praise music is great, but I needed to do some battle for my mind and fully surrender to this unexpected journey the Lord had me on.

"You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord, is the Rock eternal." Isaiah 26:3-4

"We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God and we take captive every thought and make it obedient to Christ." 2 Corinthians 10: 5

I was affirmed by the scripture in Psalm 94 that said, "When I said, 'My foot is slipping, your love, O Lord, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul.'" When anxiety. This life is hard and there are lots and lots of unknowns. But there is One that already knows the end of my story. And it's His story. And there's a happy ending folks. And it ends with no more tears. And He loves my husband and my kids more than I do.

During this time, I was going through (again) Beth Moore's Breaking Free bible study. She says, "The key to peace is authority. The path to peace is paved with knee prints. Bend the knee to His trustworthy authority. Surrender every part of your life and every concern of your heart to the all-powerful, all-sufficient, all-knowing Creator of heaven and earth."

"Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts." Colossians 3:15

So I began to literally bend the knee and start speaking the truth out loud. I poured over the Psalms, Isaiah, Ephesians, Philippians, etc. The more I read, the more I submitted, the less I struggled with anxiety, the more deeply I felt his peace. On the day of my surgery, our pastor came to pray with Drew, my mom and I in the presurgery waiting area. There were other patients behind other curtains, there were nurses and doctors milling about, there were machines beeping. As he quietly prayed, I am telling you the Spirit of God was so heavy in that place the room became silent. Or at least to us it was silent. He finished and looked up with teary eyes and said, "You know sometimes when I pray I know God is listening but I just don't feel His presence. Did you feel that?" Every hair on my body was standing up. Yep. I did. I looked at Drew and asked him if I should be nervous because I was at total peace. He smiled and said, "Nope."

"Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed," says the Lord who has compassion on you. Isaiah 54:10

Shortly after my surgery, I ran across the following verse and felt it was a gift and I hold on to it as a great hope for this next chapter of my life: "My love spoke and said to me, 'Arise, my darling, my beautiful one, and come with me. See! The winter is past; the rains are over and gone. Flowers appear on the earth; the season of singing has come.'" Song of Songs 2:10-12

This past Spring was hard. We received a lot of heavy news and had lots to process. Some things we are still processing. Did we sing? Yes. 'Season of singing'? No.

This past Summer has been hard. I grieved being told to wean my baby before I was ready and spent most of the summer apart from my husband/best friend. Did we sing? Yes. 'Season of singing'? No.

I don't know what tomorrow holds but I hope it's the beginning of a season of singing....and dancing...and togetherness. If it's not, will we still sing? Of course.

Schedule of Events and Photos

"I shake my head at the blinding wonder of it: Trust is the bridge from yesterday to tomorrow, built with planks of thanks. Remembering frames up gratitude. Gratitude lays out the planks of trust. I can walk the planks--from known to unknown and know: He holds." (One Thousand Gifts pg 151)

"He is before all things and in Him all things hold together." Colossians 1:17

He does hold. I have seen it in the past--more times than I can count. And I know He will continue to hold for all my tomorrows. He holds. Amen.

Well, tomorrow is the big day. I have to be at the hospital at 12:30 for blood work and then will take the RAI (radioactive iodine) pill at 2:00pm. I feel like I should walk out with a 'scarlet letter' R on my chest. I will head to OH and stay at my mom's house until late Monday night. I can be around people for any amount of time as long as I stay 5-7 feet away. I can go out as long as I don't stand by any one person for too long. I plan to sleep, rest, take walks, and read. Sounds like Drew's dream come true. He needs much more alone time than I do.

On the 10th, I can resume taking my thyroid replacement medication and resume my normal diet. Bring on the queso, Los Mariachis. (Ahem, Matt and Julie)

On the 13th (Stella's 1st birthday) at 10:00am, I will have a follow up scan of my whole body to ensure that the radiation has settled in my neck and the cancer had not spread anywhere else in my body. Because I have young children, I will still have to be in semi-isolation until the 15th. I can be at home with the kids. I can hug them and kiss them, but am not allowed to hold them for great lengths of time. I will get more details on this tomorrow as I didn't think to ask on the phone those specifics. How long is too long? I am assuming this will be hard on the kids to have me come home after being gone a week and not be able to hunker down with me on the couch for books and movies. This is what we do best together.

We had lots of fun family time this weekend and are so thankful for that. Thank you, thank you to all that have sent cards, brought meals, prayed and encouraged us these past few weeks. You are lovely.

Taylor's first football game was on Thursday. Stella and picnics are not a good combination. Poor Sara could not get a bite in without Stella climbing on her lap and helping herself to Sara's food.

When she lunged for this gatorade, it was thankfully still an unopened can.
At the Labor Day parade this morning, Isa got to ride on the Kiddie Kampus float. She ran out of candy right when she saw us and yelled, "I don't have any more candy!" It was quite funny.
The Newtons came from 3 hours away for the Upland Parade. Yeah, it's that awesome. :)
The sirens on the fire trucks and police cars are always a bit much for Samuel.